Thursday, September 20, 2007

A Gangstas CV

Abbas Ilias Mastan
A Gangster with 15 years experience

Strengths: Extortion and Deal planning, Good Negotiator, Sharp Shooter

Weakness: Women and Chicken Legs

Work Experience:
Since 2001 – till date involved with the Bade Mian Gang as Assistant Chief Action & Negotiation Moderator. Responsibilities include ensuring smooth operation of 12 Gangs of 8 Hooligans covering a geographical area of Metiaburz and Diamond Harbour. I report to Chhote Mian, the son of Bade Mian and the Chief Action and Negotiation Moderator.

1992-2001 – I began my career at the age of 15 under the aegis of Hath Kata Pocha in the Nerabagan area of North Kolkata as a pick pocket. Soon I was promoted the Group Head [Pickpockets] of the Bidhan Sarani stretch from Shyam Bazaar to Wellington with 7 junior pick-pockets under my vigilance.
A turning point in my career was the Diamond Smuggling worth 3 lakh. I was promoted as the Assistant Head of Deals. After 5 years I decided to tastefresh pastures.

Smuggled 3 lakh worth of diamonds at the age of 20
Successfully raised the Hafta rates in Fancy market, last year.
Not a single defaulter [extortion or hafta] in 7 years of holding office
25 extortions masterminded in last 3 years
Spend 2 years in Alipur Central Jail, Kolkata
Resolved all factional problems in the Bade Mian Gang and successfully maintained a peaceful co-existence of all group leaders for last 5 years

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